Today’s diagram is fairly self-explanatory. This humble scientific sketch from the late 1800s depicting the various parts of a unicorn may seem simple –child, be not fooled! Its uses are to my mind incalculable. I am glad that I have not found this diagram too late in life for it to come in handy for you, and I am confident that come in handy it will.
Should tomorrow find you cornered by a raging stallion of the species, you may now feel equipped to diagnose your major injuries as likely to be inflicted by part “z”, the horn. Interestingly, the hoofs are also labelled “z”. This could lead one to deduce that the ingenious artist has used a system of “Danger Labels”, wherein “a” represents the part least threatening in attack through to “z”, the most. It can therefore be concluded that the part of a unicorn least threatening to a human would be “a”, the nostrils, followed by “b”, the cheeks (this could be because said cheeks appear to be full of golf balls).
Today’s advice will be, in light of this information,
When charged by a unicorn
When breath is fast and knees are weak
Fear not the nostril or the cheek
From “a” to “z” it’s all been warned:
Be sure to avoid both hoof and horn.
Sound advice, methinks.
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